EP: 0414 - Female Led Relationships - I Don't Know How to Receive Compliments!!

00:00 - Krystine (Host)
I'm not claiming to know anything, right? I fucking know nothing. 

00:04 - Subby (Co-host)
I mean, we've said this over and over. This is just kind of a journal of our journey. 

00:08 - Krystine (Host)
Fuck yeah, welcome back, hi Subby. 

00:14 - Subby (Co-host)
Hey, how's it going. 

00:15 - Krystine (Host)
This episode is a bit of a hey we're. We just had a conversation on the morning walk talk that we think would make for a good episode. So here we are. Probably went a little bit more a conversation on the morning walk talk that we think would make for a good episode. So here we are. 

00:26 - Subby (Co-host)
Probably went a little bit more in depth on the walk talk maybe. 

00:29 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, well, there's other points, yeah. 

00:31 - Subby (Co-host)
And we feel like this is important really. 

00:33 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, I think it is. Let me really quick, just throw out some housekeeping. Yeah, we recently had our June group. It was a couple's group and we are implementing a men's group. With the help of the fantastic people in the group, we decided we're going to also do the men's group on the same day. So it'll be the second Thursday of every month and we'll all come together in the beginning and then we'll do a breakout room for the guys, and my subbie and I will separate and then we can come back together at the end and see if there was anything that was discussed that we want to discuss as a group or whatever. 

01:11
So if you're a single guy and you just want to talk about being submissive with the other guys, yeah, like if you're not matched up yet, or yep, you can just join the zoom. I don't. I mean, it's not going to be a lengthy conversation when it's couples, no, and we'll just do the breakout room. So you just join patreon, it's the ten dollar tier yep, that gets you access to the zoom link. Yep, second thursday of every month and you can come in in the beginning with everybody. Or you can join and I can throw you in the breakout room. I'm not exactly sure how that'll work, so the first one will be in July. It might be a little bit of a mess, but we'll get it figured out. 

01:47 - Subby (Co-host)
We'll sort it out, it'll be totally fine. 

01:48 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, if you're interested in being in the group, you don't necessarily have to have a partner, but if you're a man and want to join the men's group, talk about submission and things like that, or relationships or whatever, you are welcome. Yep, we also have a whatsapp group started for the ladies, so anybody that's in my patreon that wants to just join the whatsapp group. 

02:10 - Subby (Co-host)
It's just kind of a way for us to stay in touch throughout the month if something pops up and one is being populated for the men's group as well correct and still on that, if you're not really interested in the zooms, necessarily, but you're interested in a curated WhatsApp group to have the conversations, now it's not like none of it's really gratuitous or anything, it's just, you know, guys talking submissive guy stuff. 

02:32 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah. So I am going to say, though, that to get the WhatsApp group, you do have to join the Patreon, right? That's what I'm saying, yeah. 

02:40 - Subby (Co-host)
That's accessible through that $ ten dollar tier, as well as early releases and yes morning walk talks and yes, the morning walk talks are started. 

02:50 - Krystine (Host)
They start at the ten dollar tier as well. The early releases are for everyone. Yep, I think that's it for housekeeping, unless there's anything else you want to discuss. I don't think so oh, just quickly. 

03:00 - Subby (Co-host)
You know if you're a listener and you've followed our bus adventure. Yeah, we have the bus now and we've begun finishing the demo, and then the build starts. So that's where we're at. 

03:10 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, Also, I would just like to and this is right on topic with what we're going to talk about on today's episode. I got a review that my podcast was boring and that we know nothing. 

03:23 - Subby (Co-host)
Yeah. 

03:23 - Krystine (Host)
Okay, I also got like 19 other reviews that were raving and I got five-star reviews and things like that, right, yep. But of course I'm going to focus on the one negative one. But I gave it some thought and here's where I'm at. Yeah, my podcast isn't supposed to be by the book, or oh yeah, you know what I mean, it's not. 

03:46
It's 100% our book. It's not supposed to. I mean it's not. It's 100, our book. It's not supposed to be. I mean it's supposed to be educational. Yep, but I'm not claiming to know anything, right? 

03:52 - Subby (Co-host)
I fucking know nothing I mean, we've said this over and over. This is just kind of a journal of our journey, fuck yeah this is, you know, where we started, 100 and some episodes ago. Where we're at now, the peaks and valleys, what we've learned, what we've learned from others. 

04:06 - Krystine (Host)
And I will tell you, there's some days where I think I have it all under control and then the universe is like hold my beer, yep, I mean, shit happens. I don't. I'm not trying to necessarily educate you, I'm just trying to make you feel like you're not alone. 

04:21 - Subby (Co-host)
Right. 

04:21 - Krystine (Host)
Like I would guess, a lot of the struggles that I go through other people are experiencing 100%, and it is very lonely when you don't feel like you have anybody to talk to and you feel like you're failing at a relationship that you are passionate about. 

04:34 - Subby (Co-host)
Because what you see on social media, like Twitter and whatever, for the memes and all that is this, you know, porn version of what this is. Yes, that's not sustainable. That's not sustainable, that's not realistic and never have. That's a cool looking graphic or whatever, but that's not Daily Driver. 

04:50 - Krystine (Host)
No, and never have I wanted my podcast to be necessarily kinky Right. This is literally about real life relationship things. This isn't. It's not. Yes, we talk about pegging, we talk about cot cages and things like that. I understand, but it's more the realistic side of it. It's not the, you know. I mean, if you want that, we'll do erotic stories for that For sure. I mean, if we're going to have Pinky talk about our bedroom play, it would be something that we would create a story for in erotic stories. 

05:20 - Subby (Co-host)
Right, two different podcasts. Yes, really, that's what's bringing up what we're going to talk about. 

05:25 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, I just wanted to address that comment because at first it really bothered me and I obviously then got imposter syndrome and I'm like, oh my God, maybe I shouldn't be doing this podcast because I don't know anything. And then I'm like, what the fuck? Get your head out of your ass, Christine. 

05:38 - Subby (Co-host)
Yes. 

05:41 - Krystine (Host)
I'm sorry that one person didn't find value in my podcast and that's okay because I've said this since the beginning I am not for everyone Right and nor will I ever be Right, okay, which brings up our topic. 

05:49
Yes. So the topic of today's podcast is that in the in the women's group couples group that we had in June, we were talking about different little things that you can do to improve your female led relationship, and some of the ladies, their husbands, do a mantra or they have a morning ritual, and I've always said that I wanted one of these, but I've never really pushed to have one. So after that meeting I was kind of giving it some thought. Why don't I push harder for this? Why I mean, this would be a great addition and something that we can do even with a 14 year old kid in our camper. 

06:19 - Subby (Co-host)
Yeah, I mean, it's the mantra or ritual, isn't sex, it's positive words, it's affirmations and, yes, really, it can be actions too. It can be kind of. The basis of it, though, is the verbiage. 

06:33 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, and I mean, you could be on your knees while you're saying it. 

06:35 - Subby (Co-host)
Right right, right right. 

06:37 - Krystine (Host)
So here's my struggle with it and here's why I've never pushed, and this realization just kind of came to me I'm sure I've had it before in the past and then I shoved it on away. I don't know how to receive compliments, yep, and when people do compliment me, I make a stupid fucking face or I do something stupid to take the attention off of me. Yes, I don't know how to receive a compliment, and you're not alone. No, I'm not. I know that for certain. 

07:00 - Subby (Co-host)
Right. So if this is you valued listener, this may be very beneficial to you. 

07:08 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, and I don't know how. I do notice that I've gotten much better about when you because you've been very we've had an uptick in getting back on track with our female-led relationship. Like you know, he's doing certain things every day and coming back around like he's caged now. Yep, so excited about that. 

07:25 - Subby (Co-host)
And doing well. 

07:26 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, which is good, because we had a stint in the beginning and it wasn't going so well, and now we're back. It's like, as Dick's finally said okay, fine, put it on. 

07:33 - Subby (Co-host)
It was more about the preparation Lack of preparation. 

07:39 - Krystine (Host)
So we're back on track with that, which really helps, I think, for me specifically because it's a very I don't know, it's a very connected feeling that I get when I have that key on. So I'm glad we're back with that. We're doing other things and I wanted to implement some positive affirmations in the morning, or a mantra where you tell me how awesome I am. 

07:57 - Subby (Co-host)
Right. 

07:57 - Krystine (Host)
Now I know In not so many words, yes, I mean, and it will be much more like goddess, actually in many more words, I'm sorry, in many more words. Tubby is going to write that. Yeah, but I have to figure out. I mean, I've gotten much better as of late when I get a compliment from you. That's where I was going with that when I got all fucking waylaid and sidetracked. You have been very attentive and complimentative with me lately and I haven't made the face Right. 

08:25 - Subby (Co-host)
And I don't remember the last time you did do that. 

08:27 - Krystine (Host)
I don't know, but now that we've talked about it, it'll probably yeah, presence of mind, I suppose. I don't. I'm going to try and forget, because everybody hates it. 

08:36 - Subby (Co-host)
I think it's fucking hilarious. Wow, but yeah, but it doesn't let you accept that compliment. 

08:40 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, those positive words you know, yes, I need to learn how to just say thank you and not make the face, and I think I'm getting there. So the mantra I think I'm going to have to tough it out or the whatever you I don't, what the fuck do we call it? Is it a mantra? Is it morning affirmations or I? 

08:58 - Subby (Co-host)
don't know if it has to have a label, necessarily. It's whatever your ritual, what you decide to do, yes, and what does that look like? Take it away. So in my mind it looks like me on bended knee right, yep. And I've worked up several thoughts. Yep, not necessarily worked up, but more organized, yep. Several thoughts about you, and all of them are positive. All of them are affirming and some of these lines are about how fucking sexy you are. Some of these lines are about how fucking sexy you are. Some of these lines are about how valued you are. There's a mix of those, so valued male listener. If this is something that can benefit your relationship, start writing these things down. Okay, write them down, make a note in your phone whatever it is right and organize, themize them in a logical order of some sort so that they flow, and take it upon yourself to start this. 

09:54 - Krystine (Host)
And it doesn't have to be the same every day, but I know that sometimes having the same, like the same beginning and ending maybe, and then you implement something different in the middle to change it up a little bit, because you sure don't want it to become like a, an obligation or a morning you know what I mean like something that you have to do right, but repetition builds yes, right, so you're a creature of habit yes, but again, we're not alone, no, in this. 

10:18 - Subby (Co-host)
No. So maybe, like you said, maybe the front end and the back end are the same, yep, and the middle is either ad-libbed or something that's come to your mind that morning or that the night before or day before, whatever. Implement those as well, that that keeps it fresh, like you know not to sound like clinical or anything about this, you know it's supposed to be a natural thing, it's supposed to be just something you do. It's a very small thing that you can do to build, rebuild, refresh your female-led relationship. 

10:49 - Krystine (Host)
Well, and I think it starts the day off on a positive note, and here's where I think it could fall off. I mean, there's times where we go to bed and we're frustrated with the day, like so frustrated with the day, and then sometimes we wake up. That way, sometimes I think it will be good for us because it will start the day off on the right foot, rather than us being frustrated or the frustrations carried over from the other day. 

11:12 - Subby (Co-host)
Yep. And then honestly to your point, subbies say something at night as well. Yeah, you could have morning and evening. Make that connection at night about how thankful you were for that day with your significant other, your beautiful wife, girlfriend. Be thankful for that day and look forward to the next day. I think I've always too. That's something easy you can do. 

11:34 - Krystine (Host)
Yes, yep, sorry, I only want you to do one or the other because I need to adjust to Right. You know what I mean. Like I feel awkward when all the focus is on me, like when you're checking me out, when we're places or whatever. I'm totally fucking oblivious. I have no idea that you're watching me. You know what I mean. I'm just in my own little world, I'm going to tell you what. 

11:53
But I think, with these morning affirmations, morning rituals, morning mantras, whatever we want to call them, it's going to be weird for me at first, because I'm not going to know what to do with myself, because you're sitting there with all your focus on me Yep, and by nature all your focus is generally on me anyway Yep, most of the time, unless there's a bus around. 

12:10 - Subby (Co-host)
But okay, bus will still take second seat to you, of course, I know. 

12:15 - Krystine (Host)
But I was just being funny. Yeah, I don't know what to do with myself when all the focus is on me, like you're staring at me, like I. If you're focused on me, normally I off doing something, or you're observing from afar, yeah, and I don't realize you're doing it. So I have to figure out how to not make the face while you're 100% focused on me and telling me positive things about myself, because all of these are things that make me very uncomfortable sometimes. 

12:40 - Subby (Co-host)
Right, Now to that point and I'm just thinking of things that we're talking here To that point, females in the relationship if that is something that you do as well, makes you nervous or uncomfortable or whatever it is maybe try closing your eyes and maybe that will help you soak that in a little more. Maybe the eye contact is a little too much. 

13:02 - Krystine (Host)
I would want to work towards that, because I think the eye contact is so powerful. 

13:06 - Subby (Co-host)
It is. But what I'm saying is, if that's too much for you at first, oh yes, that's what I'm saying. 

13:12 - Krystine (Host)
Yes. 

13:15 - Subby (Co-host)
Because then say you've done these things for a day, two days, five days, seven days, whatever that time frame is, and then the beautiful female in the relationship opens her eyes. How powerful is that then? Because then she is ready to really receive it. Then. 

13:34 - Krystine (Host)
And it will probably feel powerful for both of you. 

13:37 - Subby (Co-host)
A hundred percent. 

13:38 - Krystine (Host)
So that's kind of our plan, and I just wanted to talk about going forward. That's a great tip for you know, receiving compliments Like obviously, if somebody tells me that I'm beautiful, I'm not going to close my eyes and ignore them. 

13:50 - Subby (Co-host)
Right. 

13:51 - Krystine (Host)
But for those morning mantras, that's brilliant. That's actually a very good idea. Yep, I don't know what to suggest, for you know, I'm still very uncomfortable. I'm more comfortable if you say something to me, but if somebody else is like you know, a comment that I get a lot is oh, I really like your tattoo, it's beautiful, and I always just say thank you. Like I don't know how to receive that stuff, and my tattoos are a little bit easier to receive a compliment on because it's artwork and I know it's cool. Like, I love my tattoos Well, most of them but if somebody compliments a physical attribute of of mine, I don't know what to say with this episode, there will be a matching blog on the website, something simple, but these are, like you're saying, as far as tips. 

14:37 - Subby (Co-host)
I will dig into that right. It won't be very difficult for me to do that and it'll. It'll benefit me as well. If you are interested in like reading over some of these things, copy pasting some of these things, whatever it it is, it'll be available on the website. How about that? 

14:50 - Krystine (Host)
I like it. I think that was. I mean, this is going to be a short episode. That's all right, but our valued listeners Judy and Steve are coming to visit, so I would like to see if they would like to be a guest on the podcast again. Yep, and maybe we won't lose this one in san francisco yeah, there is that we're not going to san francisco nope, no travel so anytime soon. 

15:12
No, it should be good but they're supposed to be here today. We're recording this on a tuesday, yep, tuesday, tuesday. Oh, a little sketch reference for anybody that knows what's up, brother, anyway, listen, hardcore add day. And I'm fucking hot as shit right now, also sweating. I have swoobies and swag and swissy and all the things all the swas. 

15:40
we're gonna wrap this up. Look for the blog and again, if you have tips and you don't want to read the blog and you just want to reach out and tell me what your tips are for accepting compliments and such, you can find me at my webpage, christinekelloggcom. K-r-y-s-t-i-n-e. I think that's it. My brain is fried. It's literally like 80 degrees and it's 10 o'clock. Yeah, the air conditioning is going on. I hope you have a fantastic week and weekend.