Jan. 28, 2025
0502 Female Led Relationships: Finding "Fuck Yes" Moments
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Let's talk about the delicate balance of effort between Dominants and submissives in Female-Led Relationships. I and my subbie discusses whether dominants should match the level of contribution from their submissives and explores the creativity required to keep such relationships vibrant. We also reach out to listeners in Tallahassee and Atlanta, inviting them to join her for engaging discussions, further strengthening community bonds.
Listeners will gain valuable insights into maintaining a healthy dynamic in female-led relationships through creative engagement and balanced effort. The episode is essential for those interested in understanding the complexities of dominant-submissive roles and the importance of nurturing bonds. With discussions on community engagement and real-life relationship challenges, this episode offers a comprehensive look at empowering partnerships.
References:
Erotic Stories Podcast
Questions:
1. How do dominants and submissives balance effort in female-led relationships?
2. What are the key challenges in maintaining creativity and initiative in dominant-submissive dynamics?
3. How can community engagement enhance female-led relationships?
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Email Me! KrystineKellogg@Gmail.com
Want to support the podcast and be involved with the behind-the-scenes, including voting on episode topics, as well as tiptoe with me into this whole "coaching" thing.
Also, my psuedo-autobiographical audio drama podcast "Control" will "re-debut" this spring as we drop the entire first season exclusively on Patreon!
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Transcript
WEBVTT
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There's a rooster, there's a cock out there making some noise.
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That's going in the beginning.
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You're welcome, welcome back.
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It's current day, miss Christine, and Subby Current day, and this voice is just for Judy, do you like it?
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Sometimes I slip into that voice just without even realizing it.
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Well, because she's holding her mic.
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I am.
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As soon as you put a mic in front of my mouth, I tend to get into this role.
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Hi, all you guys and gals, just kidding.
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There was my UMM .
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That one was for you, Steve steve, I mean it's working well over on the es podcast yes, yes it is go check that out.
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Yep, shameless pump, pump anyway es stands for erotic stories and there's probably a link somewhere.
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Yes, we're here today in real time.
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Yep, hopefully this will and we was just talking about something yeah, so a topic was kind of brought up and it got my mind thinking.
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So here's what we're going to talk about.
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Of course, everybody's feelings are justified, but should a dominant be required to put as much effort into a female-led relationship as a submissive and required maybe isn't the right word, so let me paint you a picture.
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Right?
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He is by far the more active mentally when it comes to this dynamic and things that he would like to see out of this relationship.
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His imagination is fantastic.
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Check out erotic stories Another shameless plug.
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You are just more of that mindset, right?
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it would seem that in this dynamic, the male is more anxious or more revved up.
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I'm just gonna say, maybe just revved up, well do you suppose too that that has to.
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I mean 90 of the people that reach out to me are men oh men saying that they would like to be in a female-led relationship and it's the women that are like oof?
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I don't know.
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Because it's overwhelming.
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I mean, I get that it can be absolutely horse here, but it it seems like in this, in this dynamic it's not uncommon for the male to you know, to be the the pusher, yeah right.
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And so then, by that rationale, then the listen, males I mean, and me too put the most into it, right?
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Because then, from what I've learned and from common understanding, the more you put into something, the more you get back.
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Right Now, I'll qualify that by saying that's not always the case, because I have history prior to you and I of putting A lot into a relationship and really never getting anything back.
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Okay so.
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So, In a relationship, take the female-led relationship out of it.
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Like you were saying, most people think it's 50-50, right, this is just a perspective.
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This isn't my opinion.
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This is just one way of looking at it.
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So, in a normal vanilla relationship, you expect 50-50.
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Now, in these dynamics, I don't think it's that way it doesn't have to be I think that I said this isn't my opinion, and here I am, I think I think yeah some people may view these relationships as it's not 50 50, and it could be viewed either way.
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Like that, the submissive is putting in way more effort, because that's how the dynamic works.
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Or it could be that the female of the female-led relationship, the dominant is putting in way more work.
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Okay, let's break it down.
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The submissive is submitting and doing everything that, in this instance, his dominant wants, but the female or dominant has to come up with the things you know.
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Yes, you should just know what you want, but by nature we're nurturing, right.
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So a lot of things we try to do ourselves, and sometimes it's hard to get creative, to figure out things to tell you to do.
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Now.
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This could be on the spicy side, or this could be on the day-to-day.
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Either way Right, 100%.
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Now, in the conversation that we were having with another couple, the male was this is like a callback to when I brought up chastity to you right, fuck, yes, yes.
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The male is looking for that fuck yeah moment, right, and I don't know that that is.
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It's not like a planned thing, right?
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So I brought that moment to you well and I okay.
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So yes, you brought that moment to me right I let my guard down and went with my first instinct right you have not received or we have not had another fuck yeah moment no, in some time.
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You know what I mean, right there are seasons of the relationship.
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We've talked about that ad nauseum right but I I usually have my guard up like, Like I tend to be guarded.
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I don't just go with my first reaction.
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And when you brought that to my attention, I would just let go and I was like fuck, yes.
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Right, mm-hmm.
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I don't.
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I think that I have gotten away from that, maybe.
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Right, and I think that the fuck yeah thing is more of an exception than the rule.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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However, however, it's not impossible, right.
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So the way I look at it then and this is this is just my two cents on the thing uh, the way I look at it then it's it's kind of on us, as the husbands, to think of, or do or plan or whatever, or explore or experiment or whatever that is, to find that thing that would bring the fuck yeah moment to the wife, the girlfriend.
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Now I will say this I think there are some exceptions.
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For instance, in this conversation there was an article or a book or something that was found and shared with the dominant or the wife and it kind of there were some issues and she wasn't able to get it and whatever.
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I don't know that.
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That is specifically.
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I mean, do you think that that is more of a I feel kind of left out or not left out, but disregarded?
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Is disregarded the right word?
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You know what I mean, because not more of an effort was made.
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Right, Because you I do that to you all the time oh, 100%.
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That was awfully quick.
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I was going to say Could you slow?
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that is a thing, and then okay.
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So then if that is a thing in us two couples, then, it must be a thing or not must, but it can be a thing for the valued listener in their relationship.
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So then, what do you do with that right, Right?
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And I think they're handling it well.
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They're discussing it and they're working through it.
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Communication Yep.
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Much like seasons, you know you go through your seasons.
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Yes, they come and they go, they ebb and they flow All the things.
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It was very eye-opening for me, though, because, as we were having that discussion, we are very much alike.
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Mm-hmm.
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In that I also tend to get into these funks, or I don't know if it's a funk, but you send me things all the time, right?
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Yeah, not as much anymore.
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No, not as much anymore, because we're fucking crazy busy with our boss, always together.
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Well, we are always together 24-7.
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Yep, which is fine.
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It's okay, it's good, I like it.
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I'll deal with it.
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That's payback for you being so agreeable so quickly.
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I but I was agreeable because I had, like, like I said in that conversation, like it was like hearing me right not, not in a, not in a frustrated did you kind of feel like you were sitting outside watching us have a conversation?
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Yes, to some respect.
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Yes, yes, kind of kind of.
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I can see where there's frustration with that.
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I, I can, I can see it if I was on the other side.
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You know what I mean if I was you yeah I would feel that frustration too, because I will share stupid videos with you and you don't watch them, and it pisses me off.
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It doesn't piss me off.
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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Shut up, and then you can send me 17 of them.
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And did you watch my video yet?
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No, I just mentioned, yeah, a little something Back at the ranch.
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Yes, I'm just saying, I can understand both sides and this is in no way like yeah to air out their things, but I thought it was a great topic right from the side of um the, the female in the situation, right, maybe she's just not feeling it, you know and that's okay.
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Fuck, I go through funks like that 100 right and we've said from like the beginning that this is not a fantasy thing.
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This is not a porn thing this is real life, and sometimes you're just not there, right and and for, like the subbies involved, it's okay to not be there also, sometimes, right, mm-hmm.
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I don't know that there's a conclusion to any of this, no, but.
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I would love to hear if you're listening to this and you have input or you have thoughts or you have something to contribute.
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Yeah, what are your two cents?
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Yeah, email me.
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Yep, christinekellogg at gmailcom.
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Yep.
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We'd like to continue this, probably because I don't know that there is a hard, fast answer to this.
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I don't think there's an answer to it at all.
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It's like just having yeah, it's just a conversation, it's like just talking through something and maybe somebody will find this relatable or have tips or tricks on what you did with your significant other to remedy it.
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I mean, maybe there's something.
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There's always literature out there or something that you can take away, what's helpful for you, the bits and pieces that stick with you.
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Yeah, and we're not the end all resource for this whatsoever.
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No, I just thought it was a good conversation.
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I do enjoy that you listen, though.
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Yes.
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I just thought it was a good time that you listen, though.
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Yes, I just thought it was a good conversation.
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I want it is just for a little bit of an update.
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We are in sunny florida with snow on the ground sunny, it's just fucking cold.
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Yeah, we come to florida and we break it well, we brought winter right with us.
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If you recall.
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We drove back from Minnesota so fucking fast that we sucked the polar vortex right with us.
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Yes, and I thought we left it in North Carolina because we drove nice and slow, but apparently it was stuck in the butt of the bus.
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Yep, I don't know.
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So we're in sunny Florida for a little bit.
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Listen, we're outside of Tallahassee.
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And if you happen to live in tallahassee, I mean hit us up, yeah we would love to get together.
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We could have dinner or drinks or whatever, just have a conversation.
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We're here till what mid-february and then, if you're in the georgia, the georgia by at Atlanta.
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We will be there.
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I don't know how much time we'll have to do things there.
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We might not have all that much time, but we can figure something out, yeah.
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Reach out.
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We'd love to get to know our peeps.
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I think that's it.
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I just wanted to have that discussion.
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Yeah, and much love.
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Yep Very much.
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Very much, very much love Everyone.
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Stay safe.
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I hope you enjoyed this sprinkle of real time, as we're relaunching all the old episodes.
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We're still here.
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We're still doing it, literally Stay safe, be kind.
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I love you all.
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