Feb. 19, 2025
0114 Female Led Relationships: A Deep Dive into Male Chastity
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/// RE-RELEASE ///
Let's dig into the intriguing world of male chastity dynamics, with a focus on the my journey through personal experiences and personal insights. I have a passion for exploring non-traditional relationships and power dynamics, and I have spent years researching and living this alternative lifestyle, bringing my perspective of knowledge to the table.
In this episode, I unpack the complexities of male chastity relationships, examining keyholder responsibilities and the balance between love and control. I guide you through essential aspects like consent, communication, and safety, offering personal anecdotes and professional insights to enrich the conversation. With resources such as "Denying Thumper" and "Crime and Punishment: A New Keyholder's Guide," this episode provides a comprehensive understanding of chastity dynamics.
This episode is essential listening for anyone interested in power dynamics, alternative relationship structures, and the psychological depths of keyholding. It challenges conventional views and offers practical advice on navigating chastity agreements, making it invaluable for both novices and those with more experience in the lifestyle. Dive deep into the art of balancing love and obligation while prioritizing well-being and mutual understanding.
References:
"Denying Thumper"
"A Keyholder's Guide"
Listener Questions:
1. What are the key responsibilities of a keyholder in male chastity relationships?
2. How can I effectively communicate with my partner about boundaries and consent in chastity dynamics?
3. What resources are available for new keyholders to understand the psychological aspects of male chastity?
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Email Me! KrystineKellogg@Gmail.com
Want to support the podcast and be involved with the behind-the-scenes, including voting on episode topics, as well as tiptoe with me into this whole "coaching" thing.
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Find my Patreon HERE!
Transcript
WEBVTT
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I have cramps, ouch.
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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you are not 18 years of age or older.
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There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.
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This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.
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We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists.
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We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.
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Episode 14.
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Episode 14.
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Whoop, whoop.
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Episode 14 is going to be called Rules of Engagement.
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We're going to talk about different rules that you can put in place when you're practicing chastity Male chastity in my world, housekeeping issues, housekeeping issues, housekeeping.
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Hey, to all my Lake Stevens peeps, you guys are once again at the top of my download list, so thank you, you guys are fucking awesome.
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So the last few weeks we've gone over facing your fears what could go wrong.
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This week we're going to talk about rules.
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We're going to talk about different rules you can implement into your relationship, about different rules you can implement into your relationship.
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And because I am also new to this not super new, but I'm still learning.
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I'm learning every day, as should everybody be.
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Learning is amazing.
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I did my own research this week and by I did my own research this week, I mean I had my subbie find me articles that he thought was interesting and would be worthwhile.
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So today I am going to share those with you and I'm going to give you my opinions on them.
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I'm also going to link everything below, because I'm going to skim over some of these.
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Give you my opinions.
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If you want to look more in depth, you should absolutely check out the show notes, click the link and read them yourself.
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I think these are great, great articles.
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The first one we're going to talk about is a blog, which it's interesting because last week I said there's not many men out there blogging about their chastity experiences.
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Maybe I was naive.
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Maybe there's not many men out there blogging about their chastity experiences.
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Maybe I was naive.
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Maybe there's more of you out there than I knew.
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First one it's called Male Chastity Devices Chastity and Bondage Store Australia, and the article that I am going to be going over today is the Ten Commandments of Male Chastity, so, oddly enough, the first one on here.
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Number one says your keyholder is your owner and, as such, they own every part of you and your body and, in return, you must love and obey them.
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Your keyholder is entitled to determine which parts of your body are used and when they are used.
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With this in mind, your owner has every right to secure your penis in some form of a chastity device that both of you choose.
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Your owner may lock you up at any time they choose and for however long they deem necessary.
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Now, there's a couple different aspects of this, because there is the relationship aspect of it, but there's a whole other area of discussion that can take place.
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For this you have your, for instance, me and my subbie, and then there's also the professional side of this.
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There are men out there that would like to participate in chastity but don't have someone that is willing to participate with them.
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So there are remote keyholder services.
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There's a huge I mean, that's a whole other topic and could probably be an episode in itself.
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However, you can enter into a contract with someone and they can be your key holder.
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You need to be very specific on what you're looking for.
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On that note, for the professional side of it, the rules are going to be different than in the relationship aspect.
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Obviously, if you're being a remote key holder, more than likely there's not going to be any sexual interaction, there's not going to be any intercourse, things like that.
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Now, again, like I say, with relationships everybody's dynamic is different.
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So maybe you're remote key holding for somebody that you are close enough to that you could have sexual intercourse or relations or whatever.
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So the loving and obeying in this first rule is really going to depend on what you're participating in.
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I think if it's a professional remote key holding situation, there probably isn't going to be the love aspect situation.
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There probably isn't going to be the love aspect.
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I haven't participated in a remote key holding situation where I was in love with the person.
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And in my relationship personally with my husband, our dynamic is that I love him.
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I'm not looking to love someone else, I'm in love with him.
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That is a dynamic of our marriage.
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That is just for the two of us.
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Again, there's a bunch of other avenues you can go down for that.
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Sometimes there is love involved.
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In my case, there will not be If there's feelings that are starting to develop like that, I'm out, which there wouldn't be because my subbie is my soulmate.
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There's nobody out there.
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That's better for me than him.
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Number two your owner does not need to provide you with any justification or reason in order to secure you in chastity.
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Your only concern is that your owner wants to, and that by itself is reason enough.
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Whether you want to be secured or not has no relevance in the situation, as per the agreement made in your relationship and chastity document.
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Now, this one I found interesting because we don't necessarily have a chastity document, but that's a good idea.
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Sometimes having things written down to refer back to is great.
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However, we have been doing it long enough that we kind of just flow.
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Everything just kind of flows the way it should and when something comes up, we deal accordingly.
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It's kind of how we live our life Shit comes up, we just deal accordingly.
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Number three is a good one.
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Under no circumstances, excluding health and safety emergencies, are you permitted to attempt to remove, alter or bypass the chastity device which has been secured on you.
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You are obligated by the terms of your agreement On that note.
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Again, I'm just skimming over this, because if you guys want the word for word which I absolutely recommend because this is fantastic you need to communicate with your key holder when something is malfunctioning on your chastity device.
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You need something that is somewhat comfortable to wear.
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Obviously, there's going to be an aspect of being uncomfortable.
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No matter what, you want to make sure that everyone is safe, that your penis is safe.
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You want to make sure that it's comfortable, you're not losing blood flow, all of that, and I think we kind of went over that in the last episode as well.
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So, no altering, trying to remove, trying to get yourself off any of that while that device is on.
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That's basically the gist of number three.
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The gist of number three.
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Number four also touched on in the last episode.
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It is your responsibility and duty to keep yourself clean and care for that area.
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In addition, if you don't, you are going to have some health issues.
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You don't want any bad bacteria that close to your wiener.
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Just saying, that's the gist, basically, of number four.
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Number five this is also a good one.
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I'm going to read this one word for word you must also remember that your owner has locked your manhood for the precise reason that you can no longer play with yourself or achieve an erection or orgasm.
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Your manhood is no longer there for your pleasure, but for your owners.
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Your sole duty is to carry them around for your owner.
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If erections cause discomfort, then don't do it.
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We went over erections a little bit in the last one From personal experience with my subbie.
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When you first put it on at night, you might get a couple.
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They're going to be a little painful.
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Your little guy, big guy, however you want to refer to him needs to adjust to the fact that there's something there stopping him from achieving his full length.
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And then I think it just kind of realizes hey, this is bad news, it hurts, I'm not doing it anymore.
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And they stop.
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Everybody's different.
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If it's an issue, if it's extremely painful, then don't do it.
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Number six oh, I'm going to read this one word for word too, because I like it.
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It is your duty and obligation to inform your owner of your experiences while wearing this device.
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You should regularly look at your chastity cage in order to remind yourself of the pleasures that you once had, that were in your control and which are now locked away from you.
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You should let your owner know how you feel, as they may enjoy hearing about your suffering and longing.
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I really like this one.
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My subbie doesn't have to look at his because he wears a metal cage, so he always knows it's there.
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He can feel it hanging there.
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I will say that I completely, 100%, agree with the statement saying you should let your owner know how you feel, as they may enjoy hearing about your suffering.
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I love when I get a text message that says I don't know.
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I just like the daily updates on different little painful situations that my subbie goes through.
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It just makes me smile.
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I enjoy it.
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Number seven refers to humiliation.
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Teasing things like that.
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That should all be set up in an agreement.
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Humiliation is a bit of a touchy subject for me.
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I enjoy humiliating my subbie, but I think there has to be terms or guidelines for the type of humiliation.
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And I say that because I struggled with humiliation for a long time with him, because he's a very hard worker, he provides very well for our family, and it was hard for me because it was so ingrained in my head that that's not what you do.
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You know what I mean.
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You don't break somebody down like that.
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I had to switch my way of thinking and we had to figure out our type of what was good humiliation which is a weird sentence in itself.
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Good humiliation when your brain is really hardwired to a certain way of thinking.
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You really struggle to grasp the concept of chastity in general and then also working along down the lines of humiliation and torture and things like that.
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Everybody has their own kinks and that is okay, but it's awesome.
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Everybody's different and that's what's fantastic about the world.
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You just have to be careful with humiliation and make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.
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You don't want to hit an area of humiliation that maybe sinks in as hurtful I don't really know how else to put it.
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I really struggled with this for a long time because of the way I was wired in the beginning and how I thought of things.
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Just be very careful and make sure everything is pretty detailed and if there's hard limits or this is again where a safe word comes in, where if you take it too far, your partner has to have that safe word that says you know that they can say that ends it it has to be done Again why it's important to do your research and understand and not go blindly into this.
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Any type of kink can be dangerous mentally, physically.
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Whatever the case may be, it's always best to do your research and know what you're doing.
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There's going to be bumps along the road I say that all the time and there will be.
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Nobody's perfect, but you just want to make sure that you're educated and know how to handle those bumps accordingly.
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Number eight is good, dependent on the agreement that you have signed.
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Your secret is not entitled to remain a secret.
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If your owner chooses to tell people about the chastity device, your owner may do so.
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Now, I think this is different for every relationship, because there are people out there that participate in chastity, that are in a public position politics, or there's vast other, or there's plenty of other career fields that you can be in, where this coming out maybe isn't the best.
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I think that discussing this with your partner and having a clear foundation of who should know, who shouldn't know, things like that I think this should be input that you take from both sides.
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Sometimes male chastity just isn't something that you should talk about openly with your peers, depending on your career path, because sadly, some people can't just realize that it's a thing that is a part of people's life.
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It doesn't affect who they are in their profession.
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In my opinion, most of my friends know.
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The ones that don't will probably find out soon enough.
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Our kids obviously do not know, which is part of the struggle with getting this recorded is because I need to have some privacy.
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I mean, the booth is pretty soundproof, but it's a discussion that I don't think they're ready to have.
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Someday my kids probably will know and I'm hoping that I have raised them to be open enough to accept that everybody's different and what they participate in is different and we're not hurting anybody.
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We're doing what we enjoy.
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We're not pushing our beliefs on other people.
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I'm literally here just to inform you about this.
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That is my sole purpose.
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If you have questions, ask me.
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That is my reason for this podcast, because I don't think that people quite understand male chastity.
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I think it's very.
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There's a very small niche of people who truly get it and then everybody else is just like that's fucking dumb.
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Why the fuck would you do that?
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And that's ridiculous.
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't make it dumb.
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And even if you did understand it and you don't like it, you don't have to be an asshat about it.
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There's a lot of things people do that I don't agree with, but I don't call them dumb.
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That's just ridiculous.
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It's a touchy subject for me, apparently.
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That's just ridiculous.
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It's a touchy subject for me apparently On to number nine.
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Your owner is allowed to provide stimulation to you in any form that they see fit.
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Well, anybody who's been on my OnlyFans knows that I do enjoy poking at it.
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I also enjoy letting other people poke at it occasionally.
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It's fun and people ask questions and they want to see.
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They're curious, and especially at our campground, people who are curious aren't curious because they want to judge me.
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They're curious because they're curious.
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They really want to know and he does what he's told, so he's a good boy.
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He's a good boy.
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Number 10.
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Last one it is your duty to take pleasure in the idea that your owner takes time from their day in order to control the use of their property and that this will give them amusement.
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You should always be thankful for having your owner to secure you in a chastity device and you should always be letting them know how owner to secure you in a chastity device and you should always be letting them know how thankful you are for that.
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You should demonstrate this by being attentive and loyal, and there's more to that, but that is the part that I really liked.
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I have said this many times before.
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When my subbie has that cage on which he does pretty much all the time, but occasionally he gets to be free he is very attentive and loyal.
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He is that way on a daily basis anyway, with or without the cage.
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However, I don't know how he does it, but he brings it up a whole notch.
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But when that cage is on, he really steps it up.
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I mean, he's fantastic without it, but man mind-blowing with it.
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He's very good at showing me how much he appreciates me and how much he cares about me and appreciates the things that I do for him.
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This cage has been a fantastic addition to our relationship and I love every second of it, even the bad seconds.
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I love it.
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I wouldn't change it for a thing.
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So also in this, there is the four commandments for the key holder.
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Those are pretty interesting.
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There's other articles and things like that too, so I would highly recommend checking this out.
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It was a great read.
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The next one we're going to move into or onto is Thumper's Top 10 Rules for Locked Men.
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This one is really good too.
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There's also going to always be variation to rules by everybody's dynamic and what type of relationship that the keyholder and the locked man have, or the keyholder and the sub, however you want to phrase it.
00:19:17.280 --> 00:19:21.132
So Thumper's top 10 rules for a well-behaved and happy locked man.
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Now I'm reading these as though they would pertain to a relationship.
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I'm going to have to, like I said, address the remote key holder, because that's a whole different area, so I will address that maybe in another episode.
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I have to do a little bit more research on that, but OK, so this is on the basis of a relationship.
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For instance, this is a married couple, people who are boyfriend and girlfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend.
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Whatever your dynamic is One sex is a service for your key holder.
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Two you don't decide when or how often sex happens.
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2.
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You don't decide when or how often sex happens.
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3.
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You are not entitled to sex.
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4.
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You are not to have any expectation of sex.
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5.
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You are not to initiate sex other than to reinforce your availability to your keyholder to satisfy their needs and desires.
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You are not to demonstrate any emotions that indicate dissatisfaction with their decisions regarding sex.
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Side note it is acceptable to show sexual frustration within reason, assuming your keyholder is okay with that.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:50.173
Seven pleasure you experience while servicing your keyholder is secondary to theirs always.
00:20:51.961 --> 00:20:56.952
Eight when your keyholder allows you to service them sexually, it is a gift.
00:20:58.440 --> 00:21:03.248
Nine always do your best, but don't expect perfection from yourself.
00:21:04.901 --> 00:21:11.453
And the final one your keyholder can situationally alter these or any rules based on their needs and desires.
00:21:17.101 --> 00:21:23.273
I think you can take these rules any way you want, but the basic foundation is the keyholder always comes first.
00:21:23.980 --> 00:21:25.326
Your keyholder is your priority.
00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:29.891
In my relationship personally, my happiness always comes before his.
00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:32.106
That's by his doing, not by mine.
00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:43.664
That is what took me the longest time to adjust to, because in all of my past relationships it's always been me making sure that everyone else is always happy before I get what I need.
00:21:44.346 --> 00:21:53.207
So in this instance, specifically in my relationship with my husband now it's a total flop to what I'm used to.
00:21:54.148 --> 00:22:01.089
It always used to be me making sure everybody else was happy and now it's him always making sure I'm happy first.
00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:07.923
I struggle with that still to this day.
00:22:07.943 --> 00:22:08.707
We've been doing this for how long?
00:22:08.728 --> 00:22:10.977
And I still struggle with the fact that somebody wants to put my happiness before their own.
00:22:10.997 --> 00:22:14.665
So this all comes back to how you think, how your brain is wired.
00:22:15.748 --> 00:22:18.153
It's an adjustment to get to this point.
00:22:18.713 --> 00:22:29.020
It's why I'm always learning more, always trying to do my own research, because you just it changes and you have to change the way you think about things, and it can be hard.
00:22:29.162 --> 00:22:30.423
It's a real learning process.
00:22:32.327 --> 00:22:36.847
Denying Thumper is the website and it'll be in the notes below.
00:22:37.128 --> 00:22:37.873
It's a great read.
00:22:38.655 --> 00:22:39.359
Very well written.
00:22:39.380 --> 00:22:40.881
It's a great read.
00:22:42.403 --> 00:22:44.345
Very well written.
00:22:44.884 --> 00:22:48.689
The last one I'm going to talk about is from the Mail Chastity Journal.
00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:52.332
It's Crime and Punishment A New Keyholder's Guide.
00:22:53.413 --> 00:22:57.517
This one is absolutely amazing for somebody just starting out.
00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:04.266
I'm just going to read the first few paragraphs because it really struck me when I first read.
00:23:04.286 --> 00:23:04.385
These.
00:23:04.405 --> 00:23:13.492
Many caged males and their key holders perceive the power exchange the cage represents as far more than just locking up his penis and leaving it in a cage.
00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:17.085
That sentence right there speaks volumes.
00:23:17.885 --> 00:23:25.462
I think the biggest kickback that I'm getting when I post things on TikTok or whatever, or even if I just talk about it.
00:23:25.824 --> 00:23:31.125
I mean there's even people at the campground that have said that's why the fuck would you do that?
00:23:31.165 --> 00:23:32.471
Why don't you like sex?
00:23:33.434 --> 00:23:38.527
The thing people don't understand about chastity is there's so much more attached to it.
00:23:39.107 --> 00:23:42.694
So much more attached to it than just your dick being in a cage.
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