So I signed up for an app called KIK and let me tell you I was not prepared for what I got myself into. I don’t know if I would recommend this to someone new to the lifestyle because it might scare them away…. The female to male ratio is significantly different and a new woman on KIK is like FRESH MEAT!!! Soooooo many dick pics and so many terrible messages. Now listen before anyone gets their panties in a bunch…… I like looking at a good dick pic every now and then but one after another, they all start to look the same and I was getting real frustrated. I wanted to talk to like minded people that would offer some helpful information or advice (which I did find some) but mostly I was overwhelmed with unnecessary cock shots and comments like “are you ready for me to make you scream?” or “does this cock make your pussy wet?” or the best one “Ready to be fucked like you have never been fucked before?”
Confidence is one thing but how do you know if I would even like fucking you if you haven’t even said a full sentence to me. You have no idea what I like or don’t like. I will mention one thing I don’t like is being told what to do, in sex or in life (a discovery that quickly surfaced when my now hubby unleashed the dominant woman in me). However at that time thoughts of this just being newbie me being judgmental crossed my mind but even now almost 5 years later my views are pretty much the same when it comes to this. I need to get to know you a little bit before we just jump in the sack. However that is not to say I haven’t done random things with random guys before (again a topic to be discussed at a later date) but maybe with age it has gotten more imperative for me get to know a person and see what kind of human they are before I let them stick their dick in me. So for awhile my phone was going crazy with messages like the ones above or of “hi” and nothing else or “Hi, how are you today?” It seemed as though no one knew how hold a conversation. It sometimes felt like pulling teeth to hold a conversation. Why is it so hard to just introduce yourself and tell me a little bit about yourself?
Another fun fact about me is I have had one very significant rule from day 1 and this is I choose not to mess with a married man unless I know his wife is aware of what is going on. Now this can be a very tricky rule to abide by because it relies heavily on honesty. One of my first questions when starting a conversation is “are you married?” if they answer truthfully and say yes, I ask about the relationship. Is it an open marriage? Does she know you are talking to other women? Of course I have no way of knowing what is truth and what isn’t. I really don’t want to be the other woman in a relationship and cause a marriage to end. This is another topic I fully intend to discuss on a future episode and would love some feedback about it. I am very curious about other people’s stance on this. I will say that I had a lapse in judgment and broke this rule once and will probably never do it again. It made me feel VERY uncomfortable!
Back to the story at hand….I received a message from a guy on Kik and he took the time to tell me about himself, what he did for work, that he was single, how old he was etc. He told me that he had a panty fetish and loved to fuck woman while they wore sexy silk panties. This was so interesting to me. We chatted back and forth for a few days and had some very interesting conversations. We exchanged some pictures here and there. I felt very comfortable talking with him. We discussed getting together. Well one thing led to another and before I knew it he was on his way to my house for a hook-up while my husband watched through FaceTime while he was at work. I will never forget how nervous I was. I had NEVER done anything quite like this before and sure as hell not sober and in the middle of the day! I was shaking in my wedge shoes when I saw him pull up to the house. I already had my husband on FaceTime on my phone. We had some idle chit chat and then he just started kissing me and it took off from there. It was kind of awkward at first but that soon disappeared and my dominate side came to the surface. I took control of the situation and did what I wanted on my terms. There was dick sucking and ball play and the next thing I knew I was sliding my panties (yes sexy silk panties that were ripped and ruined after this interaction) to the side and he was inside me. I must have done something right because it was less and 2 minutes and he was finished. I had him all kinds of worked up. I pulled my panties back over and let his juices drip onto my panties, a nice little present for my hubby later. Speaking of my hubby, he missed out on part of it because about 3 quarters of the way through my phone slid down from where I had it sitting and he couldn’t see anything that was going on. Some may ask, looking back would I change anything, nope I sure wouldn’t! I love that my hubby could hear another man fucking me but couldn’t see a thing!
So here I am floating along through life with a pretty shitty outlook on sex. I decide to hit up some dating apps and just see what is out there (besides an inbox full of dick pics….subject to address at a later time) and come across a man with eyes that just suck me right into the phone. Of course I had to swipe right or left or hit a thumbs up or however those apps work, I can’t seem to remember now but man am I glad I did. We started messaging through the dating app and then eventually we exchanged numbers. We texted quite a bit for roughly a month or so during which time we learned the basic vanilla (a term I had no idea even existed 6 years ago) things about each other; kids, likes, dislikes and the fact that he wasn’t willing to relocate (wasn’t a problem, I was ready to get out of my small town) etc. We eventually had our first date which consisted of him driving four hours round trip to take me out to lunch. I knew the first time I hugged this man he was my forever, cheesy as it sounds, I just knew. After our first date things progressed quite quickly and we got more in depth about getting to REALLY know each other. I will never forget the first time he addressed the “lifestyle” with me. I was sitting at my patio table smoking a cigarette and he said “there is something we need to talk about” I of course automatically assume the worst but had NO CLUE what was about to come my way. He says that he is very interested in being in an open relationship to the extent of me being able to do what I want sexually with other people but that he has no interest in doing the same. He would much prefer to be home with the kids and cleaning the house while I am out having fun. It would be an extreme turn on for him. WOW! How the fuck does my small town mind unpack everything he has just dropped in my lap. So many things going through my mind from how can he not care if I fuck another man to WAIT men actually clean??? Yes I know that sounds sexist but you have to consider my past relationships, I had done EVERYTHING for the men in my past, cooked, cleaned, taking care of kids and them for that matter! The men of my past have been more like an extra person to care for than an equal partner and now I have a man who is saying he wants to do more than his share of house work and help me with my kids AND let me go out and have fun? This is just fucking weird, am in in the twilight zone? So begins the hours and hours of conversation and processing that must happen for me to even begin to grasp the endless possibilities in store for me. So many emotions and confusion. However, this man of mine is so many things with the biggest being PATIENT! By far one the MOST patient man I have had in my life! I knew nothing about all these new things being introduced to me. He provided me with information (websites, podcasts, books, etc) to let me read up on things myself and absorb at my own pace and was NEVER pushy with me. From day one he has always told me that no matter how we choose to live our lives he loves me for me and the lifestyle doesn’t have to be part of our lives. BUT after some processing, I was intrigued and fascinated by all these new things I was learning and all the while I was learning new things were developing in me. I mean look at me now, I am married to the man of my dreams who has his little dick locked in a cage while he cleans our home and provides for our family. Tune in next time to hear more about how his little cock ended up in the cage and how we fell into the natural roles of our FLR, FEMALE led relationship.